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How The Actual F#%$ Do You...

We are starting a new feature here today. We are going to have a monthly post wondering how the actual fuck you do things in your life. If you’re like me, some of life’s “supposed to’s” are tough and can be difficult to actually do. If you happen to be wondering how the actual fuck to do something, drop me a line and I may pick your question to answer.

And now onto our feature presentation...

How the actual fuck do you set intentions?

And really, what the actual fuck are they?

Seriously, what does it all mean? I have been struggling with this for years. I have had coaches, therapists, friends and teachers, give me an explanation. And none of them have stuck. Nothing made sense. Nothing worked for my seemingly disconnected self.

I mean, is an intention a goal? Is it a wish? What does it mean to “set” an intention? Do you write it down? Do you meditate on it? Do you share it or is it a secret? Do you work on it or do you release it into the Universe like you do when you visualize? Wait, do you visualize an intention?

Shit. I am back at square one again.

Everyone says, feel into it. Set it by feeling into what you want. That always seemed like such horse shit to me. How do you feel into something? I’ll tell you what I felt, angry!

Or is it just me?

You know what setting an intention really is? Deciding. Deciding to do something or deciding a way you want to be i.e. happy, abundant, loving, healthy, etc. Deciding is always the biggest step. You can say you want something all day and never shift a thing in your life. We all want things but nothing ever changes from simply wanting it. No, deciding is a whole other level of commitment. There, I said the word. Commitment. That takes a want up to a decision.

Decision is the moment where you stop saying I want and start saying now. Decision creates action in the direction you want to go.

The feminine ebbs and flows with the tides of our lives. We bob and weave through our days. We dance to the music inside of us. Setting an intention is a static act. It’s a set it and let it kind of thing. In order for the feminine to set an intention she needs to create a flow around it in order for that intention to have any meaning for her.

One way to do that is to use ritual to create the flow we need to believe our intention has any power for us. Because that is the big problem, we simply don’t believe an intention based on simply “setting” them. Again, what the hell does it really mean to “set” an intention?


Back to ritual. Ritual is anything you want it to be and what you feel comfortable with. Is it saying a prayer? Write one that is specific to you and your intention/decision and say it every day. Want some incense? Light up! How about using crystals? Set them up in a grid that matches what your intention is (you can find grids on the internets easy peasy). Do you journal? Then write it out every day or read it out loud. Light candles, do an oracle card spread as you clarify your decision. Plant a plant that matches your decision, cook up a dish that you would not normally fix and make a production out of it, candles, music, atmosphere! Dance! Play your favorite song and dance that decision out.

Those are just a few suggestions but I’m sure you could customize your own to mix and match exactly what will resonate with you! Feeling creative? Paint a picture, make a bracelet that reminds you of your decision as you wear it, design and make a silk flower bouquet. Hell, send yourself flowers! It can literally be anything that resonates, with YOU.

I am asked if you can have multiple decisions going at the same time. Of course! Create a unique ritual around each one. The feminine is multi-focus and can keep all of those decisions running at once. Think of that guy spinning plates on sticks, that should have always been a woman doing that, we would have been much better at it.

You can always take a step onto the “wild” side too. Wicca and Goddess followers have great rituals and spells, conjuring anything you set your heart to. Plus, they are really customizable. Yep, I like doing that.

There is no wrong way to set your intention when you are coming at it in the feminine. Or is it making a decision? I’m not sure. You see, you can call it whatever you want as well. Does it make it more real to set an intention or to make a decision? Up to you baby!

How about feeling into that intention? I fixed that too. Do something towards that intention. Take action. Do something different.

You want to lose weight? Get up 10 minutes early and exercise to get yourself started on the journey. No need to do anything else, it will come. You set the intention right? You want to be a better parent? Research, read books, do things that you would have liked to have done with you as a child.

You get the idea. Action brings that intention to life. That gets your feelings involved solidly. For instance, when you are exercising for those first 10 minutes of your day, think about how you feel. Yes, you’re sweating and in pain’re doing something different! You are putting that intention into actual practice! You are shifting your life. And again, we come back to that initial decision we made. When you truly want to change your life, action is your friend.

Decide what you want, create the ritual, take action and then watch how things shift.

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